Even On the Way to Church

This was a typical Sunday morning around here: anything but peaceful and contemplative as we scurried around readying ourselves for church.  Untangling hair, "discussing" clothing options, and repeating - at least 3 times - where the kids can find the yogurt are not activities that lend themselves to restfulness.  I am not the first parent to recognize that hypocrisy paves our way to worship service after an hour of yelling.
But - oh thank you! - grace follows along too.
Grace = favor that I do not deserve, blessings that I cannot earn.
It was grace, I believe, that snapped me out of my on-the-way-to-church-distraction and opened my ears to the song coming from the seat directly behind me.

Happy girl with crazy, breezy hair

Like many a four-year-old, this little girl of mine sings a lot made-up songs. This morning's musical creation was mostly made up of common phrases from "church" choruses:
I shout to God. 
He is so great. 
I love you, God. 
He knows what I'm feeling.
It wasn't particularly melodious and it didn't rhyme. However, it was the most beautiful sound of the morning:  a hymn of spontaneous worship from a child who can't make it through a Sunday service in just one seat.
Did you notice? He knows what I'm feeling. 
I have no idea what was going through her little head that would prompt those words.  But I needed them.  He knows...
Our Sunday morning frazzle-rock doesn't surprise the great God.  I think He can handle this tattered mom and her rambunctious offspring that fidget and whisper through prayers.  His grace means that He still likes us, even when our company manners collapse and we behave like those people you shake your head at in the grocery store.
He knows...
When I feel tired, or fabulous, or overwhelmed, or in control, or just plain lazy, or like a failure  These feelings do not take Him off guard. My varied and shifting emotions do not change His love for me.  He loves me because of who He is, not because of anything I've done. I cannot earn grace. It follows me in the giddiness of a "good" day and even on the way to church.

Aren't you proud of this trick I taught my songbird?  Who needs plastic surgery when scotch tape is available?

Sister/Mouse Help

I know this will shock no one, but my house is dirty. All of it.
This morning I felt like I was on the verge of a Housekeeping-Mothering-Christian Living Crisis.  I don't believe a clean house is a measure of one's Spirituality, but - for me - being surrounded by clutter and chaos is unnerving. It is hard to be a nice mother when my house is dirty. Being a nice mother is sort of a hallmark of following Jesus, isn't it?  I mean, if you are a mother. Non-mothers should be nice in their life calling, I guess.
Anyway. Verge of crisis.
I called my sister Amy to see if she could help me infuse my situation with humor and defuse my ever-shrinking temper.
She listened.
She sympathized.
She posted this video on my Facebook page.

I handed my phone to GBaby so she could watch it while I fixed her lunch.

Her siblings (well, the three that weren't laying on the couch all sick) crowded around her.

And I promptly stopped fixing lunch and grabbed my camera.

Because they are so cute. People that cute don't really need to eat, right?

I love her little hands. They may be almost two years old, but they're still baby hands to me.

This video clip was just what I needed. It felt so nice to have my sister acknowledge my good heart and over-worked status as family drudge.
I am obviously Cinderella.
I even have mice in my house.
Maybe if I started leaving little suits of clothing for them instead of traps they would be my friends.
Then they could sew pretty dresses in the attic while I'm busy fetching food for and cleaning up after my family.
I'd rather have them run the vacuum, but that might be more than their little mouse arms can handle.
Also, I wonder if they can be trained to sing in deeper voices.  I don't know if I can take much more squeakiness.

Whether Weather

I am not going to complain about the weather.  It has definitely been Habakkuk chapter 3 weather. [Sorry, that was a Random Old Testament Reference.  I like those, but I try not to use too many of them.]
Every morning I greet the hazy dawn and secretly think that this could be The Day that the skies open.  But I have to keep these thoughts secret even from myself because I am tired of being disappointed.  Each night I put myself to bed beneath a whirring fan and say surely this heat must break soon.  See? I'm not complaining.  But I'm really close to complaining, so I'll stop now before I am tempted to talk about the fields around my house.



So it is Vacation Bible School week at our church. Interesting how the songs aimed at reminding elementary kids to trust God are doing the same for me.  My favorite?  An upbeat number that says things like "I will trust in You RIGHT NOW, no matter how I feel RIGHT NOW."
Hmmm...
I feel hot and slightly cranky.
I feel worried.
I feel tired.
I feel overwhelmed.
Perfect.  The song also says "I gotta think, think, think, think about the goodness of You, my Lord.  Because I know, know, know no matter how I feel I can trust in You."
Do I run my mind through this obstacle course of feelings (hot, cranky, worried, tired and overwhelmed)? Or do I park my thoughts on the goodness of my Lord?  Because I know
He is good
whether the weather is or not.
I know, not really that profound, huh?  Well, it is a kid song, they're not especially known for their profundity.  Still, I'm not above receiving encouragement from a catchy, repetitive source.

 I love the VBS games leader! Her energy and enthusiasm are only outmatched by her well-placed, child-friendly sarcasm. 

Without Being Too Dramatic

Without being too
Dra-ma-tic
I wish I could take
My pain and
Make money with it.

Others write of love
And then loss,
Angry dreams tossed
And burned,
Masses pay to cry.

Set my tears to song
You will find
They mean so much more
To someone
Who does not know me.

But then there is the problem of the chorus and rhymes and describing how your belly feels full of unbaked dough: squishy, fermenting and burbling.  But it's just from being sad because no one is baking in this house today.